Unemployment Quest - Pass the Preachy

I know this is a bit of a weird game for me to be reviewing, especially right after I made a post detailing me searching for work and finding it tough. That said that probably makes good FOR actually reviewing this game, a kickstarter funded RPG-Maker title, made specifically to tackle the issue of people who are having trouble just finding work, dealing with the stress, worry and nervousness of jobsearching in general.

 

Why I Began this Blog and... Why its stalled

Quick note: This blogpost is me being a teeny bit emotional and me talking about some things that have hit me hard.

Originally I began this blog for two main reasons. The first one was to try and persuade me to begin clearing and finishing games, rather than speeding between the giant backlog of titles at random with no clear intention to finish ever.

The other much bigger reason however was to help cope. I began this blog when I was at my lowest, trying to break back. At that time I had been out of work for a long time, sending letters, CVs and anything else I could send to try and gain some form of meaningful employment. After those years I had hit multiple rock bottoms (no not the wrestling move, sheesh) and visited several forms of... help to try and avoid certain... things.

This blog came into form to help push me forward, to keep a level of motivation to do something. Then a couple of months back, I finally broke through. I got a job. That's where the stall and lack of posts has come from. With that piece of the puzzle in, I haven't had as much time for here, nor have I had much in the way of motivation. I do still want to come back, to write and entertain slightly, inform too. How I am going to do it? Not sure. When? Not sure.

Quick Note 2: I actually still have saved drafts of two games hanging around... Whooops. Those should have been posted a bit back.

Inescapable - THAT was the ending? F**k this.

This game has all the potential to be decent enough but lacks any exploration, any real challenge and is incredibly short to the point of irritation (finished in well under an hour), the game ending randomly in the middle of everything and since the developers couldn't be bothered to make an actual full game, I'm not going to bother to make a full review. Fin.

Hotel & Crystals of Time - Casual Crash

Im not feeling too smart. Ive had these two hanging in drafts for ages and had forgotten to publish them. Whats the answer to me being stupid this way? A two for one post, thats what! Its just as well that its a two-for-one post though as both of these games manage to crash and burn in similar ways, just one managing to do so in a much more spectacular fashion than the other... Where shall we start then... Hotel?

Cinders - Happily Ever After?

For some reason 'Fairytale' films and TV seems to be something that is 'In fashion' at the moment, from dark and blood-soaked versions of old tales (Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters) to backstory explanation (Maleficent) to large TV drama series (Grimm, Once Upon a Time). With all this in mind comes Cinders, a re-telling of the old Cinderella story set up as a Visual Novel.

Fez - Pixel Logic

Before I even begin this review, I have to start stating facts. Will I be talking about the notorious Phil Fish here? Answer: No. This is about Fez as a game and that's that. Anyway with that quick note out of the way, how exactly does this weird pixel 2D/3D-ish platformer fare?

Real Horror Stories: Ultimate Edition - They Snooze, We Lose

I paid 15 pence for this and I still feel ripped off. What is this? Its a selection of flash pictures, there are things you can click, some things that you cant. The game is never clear what does what, or even why clicking certain things does stuff. Instead you'll spend most of the time hammering the 'tab' to highlight clickable areas, hammering said clickable areas till a blurry and badly animated random thing pops in the screen, yawn and repeat till done. Just leave this stinker alone.

Marlow Briggs: The Mask of Death - God of what now?

Marlow Briggs: The Mask of Death makes no bones about what its supposed to be, it quite clearly is an indie-ish take on God of War, a budget price attached along with it too. In all honestly, I was expecting a rather 'eh' game that either was a little dull, or a game that would try too hard to be wacky and silly. Instead, I got this incredibly fun gem of a game.

7th Guest - Feeeling Lonely?

FMV gaming was a weird little thing that happened around the early to mid-nineties where suddenly gaming wanted real actors and a feeling of a TV show and/or film to accompany their gaming experience. Overall however FMV gaming in my eyes has aged badly and overall was a bit of a failed attempt at bringing movie-like film techniques to games, this is down to poor acting, low budgets and cheesy storylines and nothing really showcases all of this (and more) than one of the games that really kickstarted this off, the adventure title '7th Guest' by Trilobyte software.

Long Story Short...

Sorry about the total lack of any posting what-so-ever over the last month and a bit. Things have been a bit crazy with me, doing volunteer work has been draining the life from me recently where my brain doesn't want to do much outside of gaming and laying around. Anyway, trying to get back into the swing of things with this and hopefully I should have new content up soon :)

So what have I completed between the last post and now? Lets see... (In alphabetical order)

7th Guest, Abyss: The Wraiths of Eden, Cinders, Fez, Glitchspace, Infected: The Twin Vaccine, Marlow Briggs, Nikopol: Secrets of the Immortals.

That's a bit to go back with, time for me to get a-writing!

Unhack - Everyone do the Worm!

Unhack is an odd little title that centres around 'Unhacking' computers and systems. Aka: Removing viruses from them. To do this you have to speed around various levels, avoiding dangers, ten levels and full voice acting is present and a lot of effort has gone into the game... So why, after finishing it, do I feel let down?

Eldritch - Don't Blink...

Eldritch is a rather interesting little title... Based off various mythos, the game chucks you head-first into randomly generated dungeons where the main objective is to try and get out of each one alive. Its basically first person Spelunky. Does it work? Hm... That's a debatable question there...

Nightmares from the Deep: The Cursed Heart - Back and Forth and Back and Forth Again...

Hidden Object titles can really vary in quality. Some don't put in any at all and just paste pictures on top of pictures, placing in the minimum of music and hope that nobody notices. Some others on the other hand actually try and put work into their titles with clear plots and well-made graphics. So where does this game fall quality-wise then?

Marvins Mittens - Cute Cute and Double Cute

Marvin's Mittens is a rather cute little platformer where you, as Marvin, explores the forests, cliffs and caves around your house in order to find a lost mitten. Its not on steam yet but it has been greenlit so its worth giving a good look-over at this game and maybe, just maybe I can convince you to try and pick it up.

Dear Hidden Object Games...

A lot of Hidden Object games as of recent years have fallen into the mix of Adventure/Hidden Object genre and you know what, that's good, that's great. Its a good addition and one I completely endorse, if only because often these can be a springboard to bigger and less casual titles.

Though please, if you are going to make your game story-featured, fix how you do the hidden object scenes. It seriously makes no sense for a character to do this...

Magical Diary - Pass the Walkthrough Please

Magical Diary is one of those sorts of games which under normal circumstances, I would run in the opposite direction of and if it wasn't for bundles, its usually the sort of game I wouldn't have even touched, let alone played through properly. Magical Diary is essentially a mix of two different Japanese genres, the visual novel and the raising sim. Visual novels being where you follow a story, going off in different paths and reaching the ending. Meanwhile 'Raising Sims' follow a different approach, where the story changes more depending on what skills and areas of expertise you have chosen to follow.

Anyway, lets jump right in shall we?

Zero Gear - Racing at the Homeless Shelter

We should make a department up as gamers called the 'Games Trust' where we rehome abused and abandoned games. Games where the rights have been thrown about the place and promptly ignored, games where the sum total of care given to making sure they still have a future is zero. Games like Zero Gear...

The Game Bin - Penguin Arena

Im thinking of starting a feature here on this blog which I shall call 'The Game Bin'. The name is pretty self-explanatory but I shall explain it anyway, both to be clear and to use up space in the blogpost (gotta get them numbers in!). Any game that I go through here is what I call a game destined for the bin. These games are not however just games that are kinda bad, these are supposed to represent games where I can find little to no redeeming factors at all in playing.

Theres already some games that I am going to place in here that I have already covered (Hello NPPD, Proteus and Where Angels Cry) but any I cover here will have to fit certain things. One: These games must be on Steam or Desura. Two: If a game is a Alpha Funded/Early Access title, there has to be proof that the devs have either given up or abandoned the game completely (So if a dev has promised updates, but updates haven't come, then its fair game).

Understand? Lets hit the first stinker then, Penguin Arena: Sedna's World.

KRUNCH - Go Speed Racer Go!

KRUNCH is an interesting little title, its not really a platformer as there's no real platforming involved, yet it has a lot in common with the likes of Super Meat Boy and its ilk. At the same time its not really a racing title, yet there's a large emphasis on speed, each level pushing you through to the end at fast speeds. Yep... theres no clear genre here for this game... but who cares?

Nancy Drew #4 - Treasure in the Royal Tower

Its been a bit since I did a post on one of the Nancy Drew titles... I should do another. This time focusing on game #4 in the series, Treasure in the Royal Tower. As usual I'll be using the method I used last time (Last Time) so lets get going!

Proteus - Games are Art but Art isnt a Game

Im going to be honest right from the get-go of this overview, I dislike Proteus completely. I dislike it because of what it is and what its trying to be. I am all for the whole 'Games are Art' idea and I can agree wholeheartedly with it. The problem is though that in order to go along with this statement, you cant just push art repeatedly and forget to actually make a game behind it.

Proteus pretty much forgets to do that completely, there's a touch of interactivity in there, by moving around you can make sounds happen when you get closer to things. Its just boring though, some things make some, some things don't really make much of a difference, mostly its just wandering, often with large stretches of nothing exciting. I just cannot recommend this as a game in any way as there happens to be no gameplay behind it at all.

Hexcells - Zen Minesweeper

Hexcells manages to be an incredibly calm and soothing title, a mix of simple and clean graphics along with some soothing music, a UI that reacts easily to everything you do and a distinct lack of urgency throughout. Hexcells is basically Minesweeper, with the stress taken out and replaced with calm, content gameplay.

Lightfish - Qix? Never heard of it.

Lightfish is another Xbox Indie refugee that's headed over for the PC market and its essentially a clone of the arcade game 'Qix', in both games you play as a small icon who has to claim the majority of a large playfield without getting hit by any enemies. Its a pretty simple game and one that has had a large amount of sequels, remakes and clones. It can even be played online, for example you can play it HERE (via JayIsGames). With that, here comes Lightfish.

DS Shovelware Presents: Goldenballs

The DS was an incredibly popular handheld with masses of sales for it with Mario, Layton, Pokemon, Cooking Mama and many other franchises thriving under the system. Unfortunately it also died a little at the end and thats carried on to the 3DS and one of the major reasons has to be the amount of Shovelware that was pushed onto the system with little thought or imagination. The sheer amount of cheaply made, buggy and nasty titles that appeared onto both the DS and the Wii for me happens to be one of the big main reasons the Wii-U and the 3DS have not exactly set the world on fire.

Lego Harry Potter Years 1-4: Im.. I'm.. I'm a What? Your a Lego Minifig Harry!

The LEGO game series by Travellers Tales has covered a massive amount of ground over the years with a huge selection of movies represented. Starting with Star Wars, they have covered D.C Comics, Marvel Comics, Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings and the Lego Movie (of course). They also covered all of Harry Potter as well, splitting up the releases for years 1 to 4 in the first release and years 5 to 7 in the next. Well, here's the first half of the Harry Potter saga, how goes it?

Race the Sun - Run to the Hills! Run for your Liiiiife!

Race the Sun isn't your usual 'Infinite Runner' in many ways... though it still is an infinite runner style game, only you cant really run on infinitely and there's always a end to it, only if you have the skill you can thanks to a series of power-ups and such... uh... Should I start this review again?

Lego Harry Potters: Years 1-4 - Dark Tower Glitch

Another Glitch-post from me and one that may come in useful to players of this title, usually I would be trying to avoid spoilers on this blog but the books have been out for many years, the films too and this game pretty much acts as if you already know the various plots so... *shrugs*. Anyway onto the glitch.

Where Angels Cry - Dull in Every Way

While 'Where Angels Cry' isn't exactly a 'Hidden Object' game in the sense that there's no traditional Hidden Object scenes, it pretty much is one thanks to the large amount of random item collecting. The problem is that the items are just dull, the backgrounds dull, the music dull, the story dull and the puzzles are overly basic... and dull. Everything about the game seems designed to lull you into a deep slumber and there's zero reason to ever touch this title unless you have serious problems sleeping.

Edna & Harvey: The Breakout - Silly Silly Grimness

Let's start with a quick rundown, here we have Daedelic Entertainment, a games-developer and publisher from Germany who specialise mostly in point and click adventure titles. They have even been called the 'Lucasarts of Germany' which, lets face it, is an incredibly big call for any studio given Lucasarts point and click legacy. With that in mind, we are up against one of their first proper point and click titles, Edna & Harvey: The Breakout, a story about a young girl, trapped in an asylum with only a stuffed rabbit for company... Oh and a murder mystery. Let's jump in shall we?

Edna & Harvey: The Breakout - Lunchtime Glitch

Now I have finished this game, but before I even BEGIN with a review, I need to post this up for anyone who is stuck with the dreaded 'Lunchtime Glitch'. I'll try and be non-spoliery in this post too for those who want to play the game or those who are already mid-way.

At one part of the game, you will come across a Lunch menu which you have to edit to solve a puzzle. Here it is

Here we have a frustrating and near game-breaking bug where once you pick up a menu-option, it becomes impossible to place a menu option down on the spot where you originally picked one up from. It also becomes impossible to exit this screen other than shutting the game down. Thankfully auto-saving stops any real loss of progress here.

The solution is on the launcher menu, before you have even begun the game. Simply change to 'German' and the puzzle should work as intended. Just remember that 'Roast Chicken is 'Hühnerbraten' and Potatoes turns to 'Kartoffeln'. If you want to save, make sure you save correctly... or just walk out of the kitchen and back in, letting the auto-save kick in. Then quit, go back to English and everything should work smoothly from that point onwards.

Kairo - Colours, Shapes and Sounds - Oh My!

Kairo definitely is a game that likes to place its loyalty firmly and that loyalty firmly belongs to the 'Games are Art' crowd of thinking, levels awash with colour, weird geometry abound and bizarre architecture littering the place along with a heavy dose of symbolism.

Zombie Shooter 2 and Zombie Driver HD

I thought I better put both of these into one post, both are quite similar in concept and both of them have quite similar positives and negatives. As far as what you do in each game, the name pretty much says it all. In Zombie Shooter 2 you shoot zombies and in Zombie Driver HD, you run over zombies. Pretty simple right?

Alpha Prime - Shooty Shooty'ness

Alpha Prime definitely sits in the area of FPS games which I call the 'Middle Ground' of FPS titles. It doesn't throw enemy after enemy at you like crazy (such as the more old-school FPS titles such as Serious Sam, Duke Nukem and such) but at the same time, it doesn't try and take itself seriously at any point (Such as the Call of Duty series). Think Half-Life sort of gameplay and you already have a good idea of where this game is heading.

Adam's Venture Trilogy - Time for ADVENTURE!

Yep, I have been a bit... lazy with the writing as of late. There has been a good reason though and that is this site http://expansivedlc.com/ where I am now writing reviews, overviews and allsorts for. Whoohoo! This may mean that I will be a little late in writing stuff here... but I will try and keep up with things none the less.

Anyway. Adam's Venture Trilogy. Lets get stuck in shall we?

Lasercat - Retro-ness

Another game from the depths of Desura is Lasercat, a game previously on Xbox Indie Games and ported across to the PC. It also happens to be pretty retro-flavoured. There be some jumping, some avoiding enemies and... trivia? I guess I better get stuck in then!

Finding Teddy - I Am Your Friend

Going through some of the games on Steam I had marked as 'Non-Working' was this little title which suddenly, out of nowhere had begun working properly with no real reason why. First glances, the game looks cute and intresting but does it really hold up well against other games?

Nancy Drew #3 - Message in a Haunted Mansion

Its the third Nancy Drew game and this time its spooky goings on in a mansion. As usual I will be doing the same sort of format I did in the previous post. I guess there isn't much more left to say other than 'Lets go!'

Capcom Fighting Jam - Cut and Paste Adventures

For those who are unaware, I do happen to enjoy fighting games quite a bit and have owned several over the years from several iterations of Street Fighter, King of Fighters, Guilty Gear, Tekken and more. I also happen to be okay at them though I am nowhere near tournament level on anything. Why am I going through this? Because its a darn sight more interesting than explaining my way through this game. I will at least give it a try though...

Q.U.B.E. - Qube Me Quickly

Q.U.B.E. is pretty simple in what you have to do. Get from point A to point B by using a variety of different things, not unlike Portal. Here however we don't use Portal Guns. Instead its down to using a variety of blocks to make platforms, make walls rotate and spring you about. Is it worth going through?

9.03m

Theres not much to say about this game. Its short and is in memory of the individuals lost during the Japanese tsunami of 2011 and personally I found it quite touching. All the proceeds goes to charity and I would recommend that you pick it up. Its quite cheap too.

1000 Amps - Hello little Amp

1000 Amps is a rather odd game that's for sure. Its not that it defies any genre (Its clearly a platformer) not does it bring anything massively new to the table. Instead its odd simply because of how it seems to have hidden itself away on steam with little notice. Time to give this a bit of a spotlight then?

//N.P.P.D. Rush// : The Milk of Ultra Violet - Um... What?

Note: The main dev of this game has since changed the game completely, turning a slightly intresting but flawed title into a completely unplayable mess. I'm not doing a full page review of the new 'Game' as quite frankly, I don't want to touch it again if needs be. I'll keep this up though just to showcase what the game used to be.

So this morning, went and grabbed myself the Groupees Retro 2 bundle and one of the games I wound up picking up was this little weird title (Which for sanity's sake, I shall be just referring to as NPPD). So I installed it, played it and finished it in under half an hour (Whoops. There's one MAJOR mark against it already). So how was it? Uh... Interesting...

Freedom Fall - FREEDOM!

Recently released on Steam we have Freedom Fall, a tricky little platformer from Stirfire Studios. Now before I had actually finished this on Desura but apparently there's new things this time around to play with. Lets dive down shall we?

Nancy Drew #2 - Stay Tuned for Danger

Aaand we are right into one of my least liked Nancy Drew games. I have decided though to try and set out a sort of 'Pattern' when doing these though since each of these games have quite a bit in common. Basically putting everything into neat categories.. And those are...

Story - The basic plot, if good twists happen, how easy it is to work out who the villain is.

Location - About where the game is set, how easy it is to go from location to location and any movement 'Quirks' any of the games may have.

Puzzles - Easy? Hard? Irritating? Repetitive? I'll note them down here.

Mechanics - If there's any special mechanics or systems the game uses that isn't in the other games and if it helps or hurts the game overall.

Second Chance - The ways to 'Game Over' and if they are fair or not

Overall - Good/Bad? Newcomer title or one more for Veterans?

Simple! Anyway without further ado lets go into the second game, Stay Tuned For Danger.

Arson & Plunder - Beat Em Up Basics

When I was young my dad owned an Amiga and with it, a good selection of games. One of those titles was Golden Axe and I played that over and over again, finishing it multiple times and beating Death Adder. Have I gone back to that game in many years? No. Why? I have to admit, I am worried that my memories of the game could be ruined on playing it again now and games like this only serve to add on to that train of thought.

Nancy Drew Part One - So Many Adventures, So Little Time

Okay yes, I supposed I should finally tackle the rather large 'Nancy Drew' shaped subject I keep occasionally poking at. I am a fan of the 'Her Interactive' series of Nancy Drew games and as of the time I am writing, I have completed almost every single one of the Nancy Drew adventure titles for PC. This basically means I can whitter on about each one and point out whats good, whats not good and where is best for beginners to... er... well begin?

Castle: Never Judge a Book By Its Cover - Breaking and Entering!

Ive somehow gotten into the habit of playing random games now wherever possible. One of these times was during meeting up with family an hour away and this was on the computer. While the parents chatted, I wound up going through this in speedy fashion and yes, its a hidden object title and yes I spent most my time going 'WHAT?' in utter confusion throughout.

Uninvited - A Ghoulish Classic

A quick trip down the more 'Old' games here with the adventure title 'Uninvited'. I felt like playing something a bit more old-school and, since I can play NES games on my Ouya (Ho-hum), I went for this.

Note: I went for the NES version of this game, its also available for other systems and pc's systems but I will explain why I picked the NES version as we go on.

Oozi: Earth Adventures - Platforming like its 1995!

Next on the finished list is 'Oozi: Earth Adventures'. A rather cartoony platformer that was originally on the Xbox Indie service, since moved onto steam with very little change to it (other than having all four parts put into the same game). Its definitely fun but... Lacking... read on and see what I mean.

Clock Tower 3 - Dumb. Dumber. Dumbest.

Ive been trying to get through this game for a bit on my PS2 and quite frankly its been a tough one. Not because the game is difficult but more because of how effing stupid it is on all counts. Did the creative team get fired for this like the Sonic creative team did after Sonic 2006? They should have. Let me explain.

Ampu-Tea - Easy Mode Done

I shall begin with three simple words. F**k this Game. Thats right, this is a rage game pure and simple with controls and mechanisms ripped right from 'Surgeon Simulator' and the goal is to make tea. The controls suck, the graphics are basic and the game itself is incredibly buggy at the best of times making a frustrating experience all the more frustrating. (Oh look my hand got stuck in the table. Or the mug. Or the water dispenser...)

This is not a game. This is a torture tool and a way for youtubers to earn easily impressed subscribers by screaming at the camera. Just avoid at all costs.